they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
