I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
