you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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