In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I know her cup size but not her name....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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