And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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