Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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