It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
