remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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