So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
