Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
