It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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