it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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