He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
