Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
