Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
ttyl tear gas
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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