im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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