FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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