I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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