Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
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