I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
