I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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