addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
