Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
