today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
