i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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