Plan B is the new Plan A
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
