did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
