I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
