my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
