Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
