you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
