Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
