If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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