Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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