your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
