I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
