I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
