Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You need a sexual gate keeper
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
