I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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