i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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