Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
