i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
