TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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