I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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