Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
