Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
