We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
