I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
