He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
