third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
