I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
