I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
